


Koltira Needs Saving (again)

by coldrottingtrees



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Blood Elves, Bromance, Canon Rewrite, Death Knight, Gen, Humor, I just felt like Koltira needed a hug, because I decided canon was too sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 14:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1269049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldrottingtrees/pseuds/coldrottingtrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>another piece of old writing that I'm putting up here just to have more of my writing all in one place. You can see the RP journal where it was originally posted <a href="http://sunsorrow-tb.livejournal.com/28053.html">here.</a> I wrote a lot of stuff for the OC in this fic, Diederich, which I'm in the process of cleaning up and making more cohesive. Once I've finished, I'll be putting it up here, as well.</p><p>I wrote this because I was very sad about stuff that was happening with Koltira in the game at the time (Cataclysm content).</p><p>If you want to see what content I'm talking about, here's a blog post discussing it: <a href="http://chillofthegrave.blogspot.com/2010/12/alas-poor-koltira.html">Alas Poor Koltira @ Chill of the Grave</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Koltira Needs Saving (again)

"And by the time we're through with you, you won't feel--"  
  
"Oh no you don't, Sylvannas!"  
  
Diederich burst into the room, sword aloft, deathly blue hair whipping in a wind that swept in the door with him.  
  
"What?" Sylvannas rasped, for once in her undeath genuinely baffled.  
  
"Your reign of tyranny ends here! I cannot allow this! Release that man!"  
  
"You've got to be kidding me," Sylvannas said dryly.   
  
Koltira looked up at Diederich, also confused.  
  
"Here to rescue you again," Diederich said, flashing an "I'm a big damn hero" grin.  
  
"You know what?" Sylvannas said. "This is absurd. I'm not wasting any more time on you worms. Koltira, you're demoted. Now get out."  
  
"That... That's it?" Koltira stammered.  
  
"Sounds good, let's go," Diederich said, grabbing Koltira by the wrist and dragging him out before Sylvannas could change her fickle mind.  
  
"She was going to kill me..." Koltira muttered as Diederich hauled him away.  
  
"Actually I think she was going to torture you horribly for an indefinite period of time in order to break your mind and cause a lot of angst for Thassarian and thus further his personal plot line, essentially fridging you to make Thassarian's story more interesting even though you're an awesome character in your own right and probably more interesting than Thassarian and I decided that was absurd and inexcusable."  
  
"Fridging?"  
  
"It's a term used when characters, usually female, are killed for no other reason than to give the hero a reason to go fight the bad guys."  
  
"I've been cast as Thassarian's woman?" Koltira growled.  
  
"Sort of, I guess. But now we're getting too meta."  
  
Koltira grumbled.   
  
"What is it with you and getting captured and tortured horribly, anyway?" Diederich asked.  
  
"It's ok, I think I'm starting to like it."  
  
"Wait, what?"  
  
"Uh, nothing." Koltira awkwardly cleared his throat.  
  
"Well, I don't know where that Thassarian douchebag is, but if you want, I'll help you find him."  
  
"He is not a 'douchebag.'"  
  
"Yeah, well, I don't ever see  _him_  rescuing you. I mean, he's the one who told me where to find you the last time I rescued you. Why didn't he just go do it himself? Hell, if he already knew where you were, he could've shaved Light knows how long off the time you spent in there being tormented."  
  
"..."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm going to Strangulate him."  
  
Diederich snickered.  
  
"So..." Koltira said quietly, pulling Diederich to a halt with a strength far greater than Diederich's own, causing Diederich to squawk at the sudden jerk. "Where are we going to go?"  
  
"Well, I don't recommend Undercity. I used to live there, but I've been avoiding the place ever since Sylvannas went batshit. ...More batshit."  
  
Koltira nodded broodily.  
  
"I personally don't go to Silvermoon anymore, but there's no reason you shouldn't go there, if you wanted."  
  
"I no longer appreciate the company of the living."  
  
"I guess you could stay in Acherus... but it's not a very cheerful place."  
  
Koltira arched an eyebrow. "Really?"  
  
"Just saying," Diederich grunted. "Maybe you should go somewhere at least a little less blatantly dismal. Maybe it'd be good for you."  
  
"Pansy."  
  
"Hey, shut your bitch mouth, I just saved your ungrateful ass!"  
  
"And I thank you. Carebear."  
  
"Oh you piece of shit," Diederich shouted, lunging at Koltira. Koltira swatted him away with embarrassing effortlessness.  
  
Diederich huffed and looked indignant. "I think you should go to Shattrath."  
  
"Oh?" Koltira said with aloof curiosity. He was managing to regain his composure and with it his haughty attitude. Very Blood Elf.  
  
"There are usually a lot of Death Knights there. Plenty of Blood Elves too, whether you want anything to do with the living or not at least it would feel familiar. And it's dismal enough I think you'll click with the atmosphere, without being as disgustingly depressing as Acherus."  
  
"Mm. I will consider this."  
  
"Let's go get a drink."  
  
"Yes. I approve of this course of action."

 

* * *

Quite a lot of stiff drinks later at the Scryers Tier in Shattrath, where Diederich had talked Koltira into going, Diederich and Koltira were joking and slapping each other loudly on the shoulders like old friends. They'd already cried together three times, but were presently back to laughing and making continuous absurd toasts.

"To Zangarmarsh!" Koltira cried, lifting a glass. "May she always be green and blue and purple and filled with bugs and mushrooms!"  
  
"To mushrooms!" Diederich agreed, clinking his glass to Koltira's.  
  
They both guzzled and slammed their glasses down.  
  
"You know what?" Diederich slurred.  
  
"What?" Koltira grinned.  
  
"Your tattoos? Love 'em."  
  
"Really?" Koltira smiled.   
  
"They're really great. I'm jealous, honestly."  
  
"Took five hours."  
  
"Daaaaaamn."  
  
"Yeah, bro," Koltira nodded.  
  
"Gimme a hug."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I've been wanting to give you a hug since I first found you in that dungeon back in whatsitcalled, when I rescued you the first time."  
  
"...A hug?"  
  
"You just... seem like you could use a hug."  
  
Koltira's glowing blue eyes glistened with emotional tears. "Really?" he sniffled.  
  
"Come here, man," Diederich said, pulling Koltira into a drunken man-hug.  
  
"I love you, man," Koltira sobbed.  
  
"I'll always have your back, Kolty!"  
  
Diederich and Koltira sobbed at each other for several minutes, eventually staggered to a room in the inn, cuddled, and slept.


End file.
